I’m learning

4

I’m learning.

I’m learning that tears were made for more than sadness. That as sorrow calls upon tears, more fully do tears capture revelation, relief, compassion. That tears were made for moments where words don’t have the capacity to respond. That being a crybaby isn’t always a bad thing.

I’m learning that boundaries are good. I’m learning how to be an adult you know (yet some days I feel more childish than ever). But I was wrong about boundaries. I thought they were to keep people out, when actually they are keepers of people. They keep people in. In the realm of honor and measure, they grow our capacity to love one another in steps of understanding, while protecting ourselves at the same time. Boundaries are not set to limit time or love or affection, but they are parameters that bring greater value to each moment, guaranteeing that each is well spent.

I’m learning that expectations produce greater results. Expectations can be scary. They are sometimes very specific, and they eliminate the safety net of being able to skirt the reality of failure. But where there is no vision, the people perish (Proverbs 29:18). Expectations set measure for victory. They define success and when you reach that point, when you cross that line, the victory is rich and savory. Expectations call for more. When failed they call for greater effort and preparation. When met they call for a moment of content satisfaction. When exceeded they call for sweet sweet celebration. But in all seasons they call for dependent worship and constant reconciliation with Proverbs 21:31.

I’m learning that people do love. Not in the movie fairy tale way. But that they take they can take their hands and reach elbow deep into your heart and feel every single beat. Not because they are extremely insightful or that they know you better than anyone before. Only can they do this because the bum-bum’s of your heart coincide with the bum-bum’s of their own. When in fact neither of yours are matching one another’s, but are honed in on the heartbeat of our Father. And when our hearts set pace with who He is, we can know and love one another so deeply it’s like we are family…then Jesus leans in and whispers, “You are.”

I’m learning that Jesus is so much more than I could ever learn-yet He draws me in each day nearer and nearer to His heart saying, “Come see that I am”. And while reminding me that His truth is more than I will ever be able to fully conceive, He still somehow allows it to sweep under me with such understanding and grace that I fall into rest. Rest in such vastness. Because while His wonder is vast, in that lies His provision.

I’m learning that you can have more than one home.

I’m learning that the sun will never stay down long enough for the talks I want to have at the end of a leather couch enamored by the city. That the stories and heart matters I want to share will always be cut short. That the coffee in our cups will grow cold sooner than we want. But that time is a boundary He has set for us. As a subtle but ever constant reminder to refuse wasting even a moment of it.

I’m learning that I learn the most in the moments where I say, “This place that I’m at, in life right now. Every bit of it is new. Not one piece is something I’ve experienced ever before. I have no wisdom, no experience here. It’s all so new.” And even when it’s not, this learning, it’s so great.

 

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